Tags
Agnes, fanstasy, food, life, people, Scottish terrier, stranger, train, window seat
Agnes decided to take the train home. No reason. A swift decision that was made by her heart rather than her brain. Intuition vs common sense.
Somehow her seat could be booked in advance, even though the enormous clock occupying the whole of the station’s ceiling disagreed, indicating fifteen minutes to departure. Clock on the ceiling? How inconvenient. She had to pass through the flashmob of zombies to get on the train. Their heads tilted back, mouths open and drooling – every single one of them starring wistfully at the gigantic clock.
Agnes made her way through luggage, beer bellies, a raven Scottish terrier (Hey there, cutie) and a pair of twin toddlers. She had never imagined that finding a tag with her name on it would be so difficult. At last she noticed it attached to the back of the window seat, but the real treat was waiting next to it.
It was a large box of Ben’s cookies.
No, just kidding.
It was a man in a black suit. Agnes asked him to let her through to her seat. He stood up politely, clutching a paper bag close to his chest. The raven Scottish terrier ran to him, barked once and retreated.
Half an hour later, Agnes dared to take a glance at him. Dark hazel eyes, full symmetrical lips and high cheekbones. He had the most handsome face in the whole world. No surprise there.
He was constantly checking his phones. Yes, he had two phones. Agnes glanced again. He is playing Candy Crush. Level 495. Slowpoke.
He sighed heavily as if he read her mind, but it turned out it was his stop. She watched him leave. That suit fitted him perfectly. Just like that he was gone from her life and that was it for Agnes and him before it even started.
The train began moving, and Agnes realised that he forgot his paper bag. She took it and at the same time the Scottish terrier came back. It jumped on the seat that used to be occupied by Agnes’ fictive star-crossed lover.
‘Do you want to know what’s inside?’ Agnes asked the dog and it wagged its tale in agreement.
She opened the bag.
Yes.
There were Ben’s cookies inside. Finally!
Love this!
I enjoyed reading it! Nice. 🙂
🙂 thank you
It feels like a wild dream.
Great short. I like how young characterized the people at the station. Clear prose that conveyed your story well. Great work!
*that should be you, not young…grrrrr autocorrect.
Although I don’t feel particularly proud of this one lol, I appreciate your kind feedback, Kirstie:) makes me feel better about this post 🙂
We all feel that way about our writing. I have plenty of posts on my page I cringe about. It’s practice and it helps us become better writers. =) That’s the important part!
That’s true. Practice makes perfect. And encoragement too 🙂 thank you for reminding me 🙂
We all need reminding! I got mine the other day when reading The Ninth Life (a blog I follow). She had just passed 10k followers and talked about how she almost quit in the beginning several times. It was a good reminder to keep on writing even when it seems like only a few people are listening.
10k! that surely is something to look up to! wow. you’re right. even if only a few are listening, it’s a promising start 🙂 Btw, is it Lady Earlene or Kirstie? Which one do you prefer to be addressed as? 🙂
Either. Lady Earlene is my pen name, I answer to either.
How did you come up with your pen name? 🙂
It’s my middle name, I added lady because I was always playing the lady when I was younger…it never really stopped actually. I try to be and act like a lady in everything I do. So Lady Earlene fit. My whole name is rather beautiful so I feel rather lucky overall, it gave me a lot to work with. 🙂
Kirstie Earlene Hudson… it does sound rather noble, royal even, I’d say.
Thank my parents for that one! It gave me delusions of grandeur. 😉 it’s also a really dramatic and having done dance and theater I love that. My dad’s side has family that way back in the 16th century was landed gentry in England and my mom’s northern Italian grandmother mother swore she was a princess. I took those ideas and ran with them. Haha. Makes for a great writing persona.
Wow you’ve got quite a heritage! So you are of a noble blood 🙂 You said you were visiting a castle, your story is set somewhere around the Middle Ages, am I right? and I just noticed a lot of great photos featuring depiction of medieval fights. Are the Middle Ages your favourite era? 🙂
Yes indeed they are. I love the era from about 1000 up to the American Revolution, circa 1780s. The transition out of the dark ages and into the modern era of free thinking and republican government fascinates me. I love how it all evolved over those 7 centuries.
I am reading a book about the Middle Ages – “The Time Traveller’s Guide to Medieval England” by Ian Mortimer. It’s very good. Having said that, I’m very new to this era, and it’s great to know someone who is basically an expert. When do you plan to post Part 5 of Lady Elinor’s story? 🙂
Soon, I hope! I was out at a piano concert this afternoon and only just got back so I have to cook dinner before I can sit down at the computer. Hopefully this evening, but I can’t make any promises, I’m also editing and rewriting parts of my novel in preparation for submission to agents and publishers so it’s a full evening! =)
Well I look forward to it 🙂 And congratulations on finishing your first draft! Good luck with editing! 🙂
Thanks! I thought the first draft was the hard part…nope! The shaping of the draft into a book is the hard part!
I guess so 🙂 it was great talking to you. I hope your final draft blows everyone away:)
I hope so too! It was great talking to you as well! I look forward to keeping up on your work!
And that’s a maybe. From what I know the landed gentry side were merchants that made enough to buy a title. 😉 and no one ever confirmed grandma DiGiacomo’s story!
still, it’s nice to know there’s a possibility 🙂
Indeed. =)