If you knew

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If you knew
that there was someone out there watching you,
Would you wait for them to come forward?
Would you be angry
Because they were taking so long?
Would you wait until it became your new normal?
Would you be willing to take on the role
Of someone they have imagined?
Would you give up yourself for the toasts and white dress
To become his latest gadget?

When you try

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not to be angry with someone who had let you down so many times, who had left you over and over again, who had nothing to so with how you’ve turnt out, he goes and ruins one of the few things that are precious to you from school as if it’s nothing, as if he had any right to do it, as if it meant nothing to me to be part of it. Who the fuck do you think you are? You have one thing to do, one life to look after beside yours and you cant fuckkg even do that. So get your hands off my things. You have no right. No fucking right.

I’ve been trying so hard to keep myself in line. I am fed up. I am angry. I am burning. I am bleeding.

You, post scriptum

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My head aches 
For the expectations I've had,
My heart breaks
Every time I look at
The pictures of you
And your stupid stories,
The things that you post
Should not be the cause of my worries.
Another let down
But I am okay,
The wind blows a storm,
Just be on your way.
That smile a fake
That I used believe in,
Leave me alone -
I am a new kind of being.
Another Ken doll,
Another sad clown,
Which one are you?
Candles burn down.
My head aches no longer,
My heart is set free.
This time I have chosen,
And I've chosen me.


Thanks for the wine

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How easy would it be
To drown the feelings in red wine?
How many glasses would it take
To leave it all behind?
I don't agree with slanted limits
They set for us, those snakes,
Those fools,
What would it take
To break their spirits,
Destroy their grip,
Rewrite the rules?
Laugh all you want,
Your days are numbered,
There is a chart that karma keeps,
It's been two decades
I've grown stronger,
But you will wither in your sleep.
Ant has been biting,
Ankles cracking,
Mimes playing roles they can't sustain,
I've always thought
You were the good ones -
All you can do is hiss and feign.